The biggest reason why I am revisiting this is that even more changes are coming up. The boyfriend was supposed to be promoted and at least on his way to owning his own business by now. This is still very far away on the horizon due to a few things which I will not go into. But basically, he is pretty fed up and is likely quitting... and going to law school. The prospect of more poverty and debt for many more years in the future is daunting, and definitely not what I was expecting when I packed up and moved to Tejas. Given that a large reason I came out here to continue this job, which was never my dream to begin with, was that I would only have to do it for a couple more months before we went somewhere else to run the boyfriend's office, it is definitely causing some tension and conflict in the house. Do I stay with the company or look for something else? Do I go back to school too? I've always wanted to, to get credentials and a master's degree at least, but is now the time, or do I wait until he is done? Are we going to stay in Texas or move back to California, or even go somewhere else? Lots of decisions to be made.
The boyfriend is heading to the Philippines for two weeks, starting on Tuesday, so I will be home alone with a lot of thinking to do. I figure, if nothing else, I can use this time to really get back to things I love -- reading and talking about what I am reading and analyzing literature is a passion I've carried since I was a little kid home alone all the time, and I am anxious to get back to it but I feel like I never have time, what with working 10+ hours a day, spending time with friends and loved ones, figuring my life out and trying to find room in there to get some sleep and eat healthy. So while he is away, I think maybe it will be good for me to get back into it. I haven't sat down and read much of anything for so long now, and one should really never go so long not doing the things that they truly love. So we will see where it goes, but for now, this is going to be my outlet for thoughts, books, and the things I learn from them.
